Friday, September 21, 2007
i hate it when even my teachers... not even my friends, just throw me aside like garbage. yes i know my handwriting sucks shit but can u not publically announce it to the whole damned class. do they even know how low i have to place my head so much so that im not sure if theres any lower to go to. yes my studies sucks! so what? is it a friggin crime to suck in something i cant do well.
it doesnt seem that way, but ive been misunderstood more times than any of u reading have ate rice. i TRIED studying for tests....but what do i get? "WHY IS YOUR MARKS SO LOW? WHY YOU NEVER STUDY? WHY CANT YOU BE LIKE OTHER PEOPLE WHO CAN DO SO WELL?" zzzz WHY WHY WHY... i get this damned questions everytime i get my results. now i think my life's damned too. is there any place to do well other than in studies?
why is it that so much emphasis is put on studying? yes some people do well in that, but u gotta know, some people if not, me, CANT DO SHIT ABOUT MY SUCKY RESULTS. and because of this, we, or at least, I, am not able to show what good i have left in this life. what i can do well is shunned upon by close ones. if theres nothing left, why should i be here in the first place, i contribute absolutly nothing to others and society. i take alot from others and society. am i the equalizer? to equalize things around me such that we dont get too well off? in that case, please i want to be able to contribute something, or at least put a smile on people's face. not necessarily by studying. i just want to know... of whats left of my undeterred strengths what can i actually do to stop all this bullshit from going on.
well if any of u people want to know my results here it is. English: C5. Maths: C6. Chinese: C6. Geography: E8. Combined Humanities: F9. Combined Science: E8. Design and Technology: A2.
L1R5: 35. L1R4: 29.
it has been this way for almost my entire life studying. can any of u imgine what i go through everytime i get my common test results? my mid year exams? my final year exams? its hell after hell after hell every year continually.
Must I die to make all these stop? If so, someone please stop this for me.
; Think. Not talk.
2:50 PM
